And now that i am unemplyed...
There is always HOPE
It is couple of weeks after the New Year. I was thinking how time had passed so swiftly without me even noticing it (the common sentence everyone uses). It seems, well, all or most of us comment and complain about the flying time without tending to do anything about it! Well day after day, month after month, time just kept passing.
Where am I now from the beginning of the passing year to now, and or the year before this one? Have I made any difference? Did I get any closer to attaining my goals and dreams? Did I achieve any progress at all? All these questions keep popping up in my brain on a constant basis. I tried to look for the bright side in answers to all these questions. I tried to be calm and convince myself that YES I will be alright; yes I am getting there. However, my inner voice is refusing to believe what I am trying to tell myself! It tells me to stop lying to myself. It whispers the words: ‘you are getting nowhere’. You are just wasting time!
In short, the reality is this; I am not happy like this. Am I willing to spend more time of my life thinking and acting the same way...or maybe as what some of my friends will say “you’re thinking too much”!! Obviously, I cannot be comfortable doing things the same way over and over and of course without progress! At least I know, in reality there need to be some changes for me to expect different results. I have to get my goals both the specific and general ones. I said to myself that there is no way I will accept a normal life. I know I am not getting any younger. My nightmare is when I think about reaching 47 years and turn back to see my life with none of my dreams realized. All I know and want is to get there where I want to be in life.
And now that I am suddenly unemployed I found out how stronger I have become! As the song says, “I found a hero lying on me”. I actually hated the feeling that I hate my job. I hated the fact that I had to sit there and spend 7 hours of my life every week day, with no productivity and creativity. I felt that I am doing the same thing over and over again. I felt there is no room for creativity and my mind is shut down. This is simply because I didn’t enjoy what I was doing. Ironically, when I left and judged my experience from outside the circle, I found that I learned a lot of things and gained a lot of skills. These skills I learned would be helpful to me as I carry on the path to achieve my goals in the future.
My last job was not my first job or the first time of being around similar people. But it turn out the job itself was challenging; besides, I met some people who taught me a lot of things. I must say, over all, I learned a lot. I learned to be patient, optimistic and a team player. My communication skills improved and my viewing horizon is wider than ever before. I now know how to accept all kinds of people and how to be myself.
The day that my manager told me in a nice way that I was fired, I was not shocked at all. Somehow, on this particular day, I had this kind of feeling since the morning and yet I was all positive about it. I spent the rest of my day on my normal schedule. I went to the gym, met my friends and told them the news with a big smile. Then, I also went home and similarly told my parents. In fact I felt good. Somehow I felt like a freed bird. At the time I didn’t worry about the hours I will spend doing nothing, I didn’t worry about the financial commitments that I have and even missing my colleagues at work.
At night though, when I was in my room alone thinking about the whole situation, I felt this big pressure on my chest and my tears washed it all away. I spent my night crying and that relieved me. I woke up the next day, and I wanted to share this thought and experience with everyone who cares about me or always need to have hope. Definitely some day when I publish my book and have my own coffee shop , I will always remember my friends. Also, when I become the woman I want to be, I will share the memories of these moments or at least remember them. So that when one day my body will lie under the ground, my name will always be out there.
By the way, i found another job within one week after I was severed from the last one. Yet thats doesn't mean i will be there forever! i am still planning and heading towards my goals
!
half a glass full or half aglass empty ^^^
النمط الخطي
